Hooter Hotline #7
January 6, 2010
Boobs are like Lay’s Potato Chips…
Yep, you can’t have just one! Well, at least that’s true for me. When I schedule the next surgery, it will be for bilateral mastectomies. I am certain that I would feel goofier with only one “DD” floppin’ around than to have symmetrical nothingness.
My mom’s sister, “Aunt Ginger,” had a left radical mastectomy in 1971 that included taking the pectoral muscle as well. She also had radiation treatment. I gave her a call the day I left my first visit with the breast surgeon. I had held up well during the extended conference time. After all, I wanted to appear to be the professional and medically savvy nurse as I sat in front of this prestigious surgeon. I really did give a good performance loaded with quips, puns and one-liners, but the minute Rog and I walked out to the parking lot and the curtain was down, down came the tears. Rog had driven his own car to the appointment and it tore him up to have to send me off alone with all that new information weighing down on me. In fact, he tried to call me on my cell phone while I was chatting with Aunt Ginger. I still have his voice mail from that day saved on my phone. It was precious in its earnest regret that he could not be with me on the drive to offer comfort. I just listened to his message again today when my cell phone held my new message hostage until I listened to all the “about-to-expire” saved messages. I hate being manipulated by my own phone, but that’s a different rant altogether.
Anyway, talking to Aunt Ginger, who is now around 80 years old, was the best medicine for me. I wish you all had a chance to know her. I have looked up to her all my life. She is a courageous, stable, no nonsense, pragmatic, progressive and positive person. She is an inspiration to me and is the one I model what kind of aunt I try to be for my nieces and nephews. She began telling me about her cancer and the one regret she did have. She only regretted that she had not had the remaining breast reduced earlier in her life. She told how difficult it was to find prosthesis to match the other breast and that she never really did succeed. She was forever stuffing things into her bra like hankies and hand towels to create an even appearance. During one doctor’s appointment, she remembers him asking, “What is all this stuff in your bra?” She also related being out at a restaurant with her daughter who began tapping her on her arm, “Mom, your boob is tipping over your coffee cup!” Makes sense when you realize that a prosthetic boob can’t feel a thing. Then there was the time when the prosthetic floated out of her suit in a public swimming pool. She had me laughing and smiling during our conversation as she delivered her one-of-a-kind “Buck UP” and “Get ‘Er Done” Aunt Ginger advice.
Any one who really knew my mom, knew she was crazy. I mean seriously crazy; personality disorder with narcissistic and paranoid components. It was a very rough road while she was raising the four of us. The drama and damage didn’t end as we all reached maturity and ran, ran as fast as we could, away from her sphere of influence. We’ve spent a great deal of our adult lives untangling the chaos of her impact. But Aunt Ginger was always there… She has never missed a birthday or anniversary and always included affirmations about how well we turned out despite… Every card expressed that she was proud of us and that we were making good choices with our lives. Though we never lived close to her, she remains close because she’s always been our cheerleader and as my mom’s eldest sister, she knew the score when no one else did. I am sharing this about one of my heroes because she is a magnificent example of a cancer survivor and to illustrate how you have the potential to have a positive impact on people beyond your first tier relationships. Never underestimate the power you have by giving affirmations and encouragement to others. You might be one of the life rings tossed to someone in a stormy sea, just like Aunt Ginger has been.
She had a recurrence of her cancer in 2003 and took the opportunity to have the lone breast reduced in size. She’s one of the few things I’m happy to be linked to in my gene pool!
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